I’m not Adam Lambert, I’m James Durbin. I don’t want to be Adam Lambert, I’m James Durbin. I’m never going to be Adam Lambert, because I’m James Durbin.
For being down-to-earth and one-sided people, we Aspies can be extremely two-faced. We carry reputations of being true to ourselves and stubborn to the point that we refuse to do things that do not satisfy us, but our physical manifestation of our symptoms can really make us seem like many different people. The situation that we are in at any given moment can decide whether we are conspicuously or obviously autistic.
For me, music is the factor that can alter my state of mind. I find that after spending a long period practicing or listening to music that I can think much more clearly and have a much easier time talking to people. In fact, it is the students who are in performance classes with me who most often challenge my Asperger’s diagnosis, for they have trouble identifying symptoms.
Another Aspie who reminds me every week of the healing powers of music is James Durbin, a finalist on American Idol. The rocker’s Tourette’s and Asperger’s symptoms are so well-concealed during his on-stage performances that even my mother challenged his diagnoses. However, in interviews like this one, his various tics and social hiccups are painfully clear. Even then, James is able to maintain his sense of self even while traveling between mental realms and emphasizes his individuality in every situation. James’ pure self is the one that is present on stage every Wednesday, unhindered by symptoms. For that I admire him and hope that I can somehow bridge the gap between my two selves like he did.